In Never Split the Difference former FBI Negotiator Chris Voss teach you the best strategies and techniques for getting what you want. We are all negotiating all the time. Why not be good at it? Right?!
Overcome your fear of negotiation
Except for a few naturals, most of us hates negotiation at first. We get nervous, our hands sweat and our thinking breaks down. But it’s not really the person across the table that scares us; it’s conflict itself. Humans are made for living in tribes and getting along with the group is a natural priority for most of us. I’m avoid conflict. I avoid negotiation. “The first step to achieving a mastery of daily negotiation is to get over your aversion to negotiating.”
This book changed my view of negotiation; I’m now in love with it! And a mostly due to the fact that we created Book Club/Implementation Group around this book where really put the tactics into immediate use in real life situation alongside our theoretical studies.
Video Review of Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss
Notes and Highlights
The Pinocchio Effect
The number of words grows with lies. When people lie they use more words. This is known as the Pinocchio Effect.
‘No’ is the start of negotiation
“No, is the start of negotiation, not the end of it.” The truth of this simple statement became clear to me when I payed attention to how I negotiated with my son. Once I had said “no” to one of his request was usually the time when I would opened myself to hearing him out. That’s when I was ready to consider the possibles and we could work something out together.
The real meaning of ‘no’:
No, is not always a hard ‘no’ in a negotiation situation. It can mean many things, and end up as a ‘yes’ if certain conditions are fulfilled. One of these statements is usually the real meaning of ‘no’:
🔸I’m not yet ready to agree.
🔹You are making me feel uncomfortable.
🔸I do not understand.
🔹I don’t think I can afford it.
🔸I want something else.
🔹I need more information.
🔸I want to talk it over with someone else.
The Accusation Audit is a favorite tool of mine that I used a lot recently. “You make a list of every unreasonable, unfair, crazy, ridiculous accusation your gut instincts are picking up that the other side might say about you.” When we acknowledging negatives they lose their power.
If Atomic Habits is the definite book on habit building than this is definite book on negotiation. It can seem a bit manipulative, but if you see past that—and make an effort to use the tools in this book in everyday life with no delay—then it might be the most valuable reading you will do this year.