How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie

Worth reading? How to Win Friends and Influence People Review

How to Win friends and Influence People have been read by millions of people who want to become better at dealing with their fellow humans, improve their leadership, or just simply get people onboard with their great ideas.

This book review you will learn:
1. Why this book became so popular.
2. Lessons from the book
3. Who should read it
4. If you already read it: is it worth reading again?

The History of How to Win Friends and Influence People

Carnegie was originally Carnagey

Dale Carnegie, was originally Dale Carnagey–  He changed it to make it match industrialist-rich-man Andrew Carnegie who was a personal hero of his, anyway, He was a teacher from a simple family background and he built a name for himself by holding public speaking classes.

The Book summarizes decades of experience

In 1936 Dale Carnegie published How to Win Friends and Influence People and it became his big breakthrough. In the book he summarized two and a half decades of teaching classes in public speaking, and assertiveness. To say that the book was a success is an understatement. It was a tremendous success and it has sold 16 million plus copies to date.

The right book at the right time.

The book’s timing was perfect. The book appeared on shelf during the Great depression and it gave hope a whole generation of discouraged businessmen who had seen their hopes and dream crises in the harsh economic climate. Since then it has been a perennial best seller and it’s often suggested as a great starting point for anyone who wants to start reading books on self improvement.

Video Review of How to Win Friends and Influence People

Video Review of How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

About the book

How to Win Friends and Influence People contains a collection of simple and time-tested principles to follow if you want to become a better leader and a more influential person. Following the principles also makes social and professional interactions more fun. Some examples of the principles from the book are:

  • 1 Don’t Criticise. …
  • 2 Give Honest And Sincere Appreciation. …
  • 3 Arouse In The Other Person An Eager Want. …
  • 4 Talk In Terms Of The Other Person’s Interests. …
  • 5 Remember Names. …
  • 6 Become Genuinely Interested In Other People. …
  • 7 Avoid Arguments. …
  • 8 Be A Good Listener.
  • Etc…

Each principles is presented with accompanying stories about business tycoons and thought leaders, showing how each of them have been used successfully.

Lesson 1: Change starts with you

People are annoying, bossy and self absorbed. It’s easy to complain about it, but that is not very helpful. Be the change you want to see in the world and start by improving yourself.

“Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbors roof when your own doorstep is unclean.”

– Confucius

If you want to improve others, then start with yourself.

What can you do to become a better at dealing with people, get people to like you. and influence people? Become genuinely interested in other people. “You can make more friends in two month by becoming interested in other people than you can in two year by trying to get other people interested in you”. People are interested in themselves. “Most people trying to win other to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves. Let the other people talk themselves out. They know more about their business and problem than you do. So ask them questions. Let them tell you a few things.” Listen to people, show appreciation, be lavish with your praise, and show how they will benefit from what you are proposing.

Lesson 2: People an idea to live up to.

One way to influence people is to set high expectations. In the book Dale Carnegie talks about how some hired a helper for his home, and only afterward found out from references that this person had previously done a sloppy job with keeping things tidy around the house. When the person arrived to work he approached her and said something.

“When I heard from people you worked for before that you were  honest and reliable, took good care of the children, but also that you sometimes did a sloppy job of keeping the home tidy and organized. Now, I think she is lying, seeing how neatly you are dressed I have a hard time believing that can be the case, and I’m sure this arrangement will work out just fine.

The cause for concerned was raised, and expectations was set. By pointing out an area were the person excelled, and how it gave confidence that the same high standard would be transferred to the task at hand. Give people an ideal to live up to and see how they excel!

Lesson 3: Listen!

Listen, be sincere about it, be patient, encourage people to express their idea fully! This is an important lesson for me, since I’ve noticed myself being eager to interrupt people at work recently. Who will listen to me if I don’t listen to others.

Behavior Change is Hard

I needed that reminder, some thing we need to be reminded of because we slip out new desired behaviors and fall back to old patterns unless we constantly remind ourselves. Eventually the new behavior will be the new normal, but it can take several attempts before it sticks. I recommend you to check out my review of you’re not listening if you want to know more about the art of listening.

Is How to win Friends and Influence People worth reading?

This book is perfect for someone who is starting out in life, or starting anew. Knowing and applying the principles of this books with save you so much time and effort in interpersonal relationships, and it will be of tremendous value throughout your life.

People Skills is a rare commodity

People with social  skills often outperform people with only knowledge in companies and business. Skills are important, but if you also have world class social and interpersonal skills you have a rare has competitive edge.

If you only will read one book on social skills, let it be this one.

Is How to win Friends and Influence People worth re-reading?

The book held tremendous value for me when I first read it 8 years ago. But is it worth it to go back and read it again? Yes and no. It’s great to get a refresher on the concepts from the book, but you don’t really need to reread the whole thing to do that. Internet is full of summaries, and you might as well save yourself some time and read those. If you, like me, read a lot of psychology and personal development books, then there is really no need to go back to this one as you will already know and use the principles.

Book verdict:

How to Win Friends and Influence People is for beginners, and it’s a great book for that reason! easy to read, peppered with stories and anecdotes. The perfect gateway drug into the world of nonfiction books.

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ out of 5

Further reading:

If you enjoyed How to Win Friends and Influence People, and are looking for similar books that will boost your communication skills, then check out these books: And if you are interested in becoming more influential and persuasive then watch my video The Best Books About Influence.

📖  Crucial Conversations (Review)

A classic when it comes to communications when stakes are high. A great book with principles that we all need to know by heart in order to successfully lead a team, family, and a good life in general. It’s not a fun read per se but the payoff is huge.

📖  Non-Violent Communication (Review)

More enjoyable than Crucial Conversations. Be precise in your speech and you will save yourself and the people around you from a ton of unnecessary suffering, that’s my main takeaway from this book. This one and Crucial Conversations makes a powerful communication combo. Master both and you’ll reap the fruit for the rest of your life.

📖  Radical Honesty (Review)
The book is to the point and quite blunt. Tell the truth no matter how it makes you look. A tough regiment for most of us, but The author insists:  “The truth will set you free.”

Find more great book to read on my book reviews page and the Great Books List
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